Running the Mile and a Half By Bradley Crislip

When I walked into gathering, I was expecting just another 15 minutes of cheese, pretending I’m not talking if a teacher looks at me, and Daniel and Natalie not being able to do trivia because of someone’s personal vendetta towards them, just like usual. However, Coleen Davis decided to put that all to an end when she made an announcement about the mile and a half, as I fell back into memories of running and exercise that I had tried for months to repress.

Soon I was lost in a state of shock, remembering dreading and predicting exactly how terrible the mile and a half was going to be. I remember walking down to the gym, and to top everything off it was as cold as something that is usually really cold, and trust me; I hate the cold, mostly for the reason that it is not very warm. I was wondering if maybe I should have an asthma attack for the fun of it, but OES Alumni Chris “Handsome & Charming” Elliot (shout out) told me I couldn’t back out because he couldn’t face this battle alone.

It’s not even that I don’t like exercise; I am a self-proclaimed fantastic basketball player, who has often been compared to a “Slowly dying version of Kobe Bryant.” Plus, I don’t know what if you heard but there’s this rumor going around I’ve been varsity TOLF GEAM (golf team) every year in high school?!?! WHAT!? Because golf is the one sport that should put anyone’s doubts of my athletic ability to rest. Chris and I started running together, as Coleen looked upon us, laughing manically. Chris, slowly freezing to death, was slowing down a bit and I am guessing just to make me run alone, threw up on the 4th lap. “Sorrrryyyy Braaaaad” he said, as I was turning into a well-crafted ice sculpture, yet somehow still sweating profusely. “Chris threw up?” Coleen asked herself, “My plan is slowly coming together.” I finished up my mile and a half, probably dead, as Coleen told me “Great Job Brad,” as she looked around snickering.

If you’re about to do the mile and a half like some might be, just remember that it really is the opposite of an enjoyable experience. If you enjoy running, just remember that you probably don’t before you do this, and if you hated running like me, know that there’s a possibility that you slowly start enjoying running, like I shamefully have, so do the mile and a half at your own risk.

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