Lost Email Superlatives

Isabella W.

Last week, I realized that I had lost not one, not two, but three books! In a panic, I tried to make a lost email that people would

  1. read
  2. speak to me after reading.

Whether or not I succeeded in these is still up for debate but it got me thinking…What exactly is the best lost email?

So, I went back through my email and looked at the painful, awful lost emails of the OES community thus far (not including my own as an executive decision).  Here are your lost email superlatives thus far:

Email that I actually said “What?” to/ Emails with the most random assortment of vocabulary:

Yo I lost ma red old navy jacket (It does not say old Navy on it). Its not bright red its more of a crimson or blood red. Please give me NAME REDACTED If you find it.

Thank you,

NAME REDACTED

Part 2…:

Dear OES,

I promised myself I would never do this again but I am out of options and must make a lost email. Due to unforeseen circumstances I have lost my precious black wallet. This is indeed a dire situation as it contains a large sum of money. Now I stated that so people might take this seriously, not to attract thievery. Please help in this crusade to find my wallet.

Thank you,

 

Sincerely

NAME REDACRED

Sweetest email I’ve ever received:

Hello all!

 

I so dearly apologize for cluttering up your inbox, but I’ve lost my TI-89 calculator and haven’t been able to find it anywhere. It’s got white duct tape on the lid with a poorly-scratched name on it. If you see it and hand it to me, I’ll return the favor by allowing the universe to give you good karma. Thanks a bunch!

 

Sincerely,

NAME REDACTED (again)

Most Philosophical :

Hello All,

Yet another lost item has entered the void. I have lost a pair of white earphones that looks like the picture below. It might or might not be in a small plastic bag. If you have seen it, please contact me.

Allow an item to leave the void.

Thanks!

Most Original Lost Combo:

Sorry everyone,

I lost my Odyssey book and an unopened pack of paper cups that I absolutely need for science research. Please let me know if you find them.

Thanks,

[OES Student]

Lost email that made me question if I am bigfoot:

IF YOU LOST THE RIGHT FOOT in size 5.5 don’t you worry because I have it! IF YOU HAVE the left foot in size 3.5 pleaseemail me. Thanks!

(On a side note, this student has sent out two lost emails for Natalie B.’s calculator)

Straight to the Point:

it has “Josh W.” engraved on it

-A Student Who Will Remain Unnamed

Best Spelling:

Hey guys!

Im sure youve gotten your fill of i lost my phone emails. It is a white iphone with a zebra case and the picture on the lock screen has a bunch of people on it from homecoming. If you find it PLEASE FIND ME IMMEDIATLY!!!!! There will be a reward!!!!! (like 10 peices of candy of youre choice!!) So please if you see it help me!! Thanks so much!!

-Another unnamed student

Most OES Freshman Subject title:

“My first lost email”

Congrats on your consistent forgetfulness, OES!

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