by Annika L.
To introduce my Ask Annika column, I decided to interview one of the prestigious editors of The Aardvark Dig, Abe Asher, about my life.
Q: What is my goal in life?
Abe: To acquire money. A lot of fame. Fortune. Make friends. Go to Broadway. Have a family. Celebrate. Grieve. Get rich. Be a star. Go to the White House. Enjoy life. Conquer the world.
Q: How do you see me as a person?
Abe: With my eyes.
Q: What qualifies me to have an advice column?
Abe: Annika has been alive for a long time. I think she is at least 57, though I haven’t ever confirmed that because asking that question would be rude. In those 57 (or so) years, Annika has accomplished more than I could ever hope to accomplish, including producing a nationally syndicated cooking show, flying around the world in a hot air balloon, and inventing the chicken salad sandwich. If you have a question, she’s the person to ask.
Presidential candidate Nathan Carpenter* cannot contain his excitement about this column starting next week. Send in your questions to my school email @email@example.com, and check back on Thursdays for responses. Thanks!
* Yeah, we just announced his candidacy.