Ask Annika: Introduction

by Annika L.

To introduce my Ask Annika column, I decided to interview one of the prestigious editors of The Aardvark Dig, Abe Asher, about my life.

Q: What is my goal in life?

Abe: To acquire money. A lot of fame. Fortune. Make friends. Go to Broadway. Have a family. Celebrate. Grieve. Get rich. Be a star. Go to the White House. Enjoy life. Conquer the world.

Q: How do you see me as a person?

Abe: With my eyes.

Q: What qualifies me to have an advice column?

Abe: Annika has been alive for a long time. I think she is at least 57, though I haven’t ever confirmed that because asking that question would be rude. In those 57 (or so) years, Annika has accomplished more than I could ever hope to accomplish, including producing a nationally syndicated cooking show, flying around the world in a hot air balloon, and inventing the chicken salad sandwich. If you have a question, she’s the person to ask.

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Presidential candidate Nathan Carpenter* cannot contain his excitement about this column starting next week. Send in your questions to my school email, and check back on Thursdays for responses. Thanks!

* Yeah, we just announced his candidacy.

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