Things We Like And Don’t Like About The French, Ranked

by Johnny S.

The French are here. En masse. Here’s what we like and don’t like.

My Top 8 Favorite Things about the French:

  1. Designer Jeans- there is nothing that makes me happier in the morning then well washed, tapered, dark indigo denim.
  2. Facial Hair- out of respect for all the gorgeous facial hair I have been seeing around school the past couple of weeks I’ve decided to grow my own facial hair! Thank you French people!
  3. Accents- even when you don’t necessarily know what is being said, it sounds so cool that you fall in love and bat your eyes 😉
  4. Their bread. If I had to only eat one thing for the rest of my life I would probably be pretty okay eating only french bread.
  5. “Cultural obscurities” -Petie W.
  6. “I think that when they greet eachother and kiss eachother on the cheek it is cute. And I want to be French because it is cute.” – Annika L.
  7. “oui oui baguette” – Isabella W.
  8. André the Giant

My Top 8 Least Favorite Things about the French:

  1. There are lots of things named after the French that are much too good to be called French. French Fries, French Toast, French Kiss, French Dip, French Onion Soup, French Twist, French Vanilla.
  2. The French are not good at any sport.
  3. French dogs are yappy and annoying.
  4. French people either look 13 or 20. It’s very confusing.
  5. French restaurants take 20 minutes to bring you water, 2 hours to bring you food, and then charge you 50 dollars for a steak that is mediocre.
  6. David Guetta
  7. French cars include Citroën, Peugeot, Renault, none of which have ever made a nice car in the history of their companies.
  8. French people manage to smoke, drink, and eat better food than us, all while living longer lives.

Also there’s this:

One thought on “Things We Like And Don’t Like About The French, Ranked

  1. I have been invited to contribute a comment about this article in The Aardvark Dig. I realize this was an attempt at humor and satire, and I support free speech and artistic freedom. But this is an unfortunate article to find in our school’s newspaper. We have worked hard as a community to discourage cultural stereotyping and I wonder how an article like this would have been received if the satire had been aimed at “The Chinese” or “The Muslims”, especially if it coincided with the visit of the Nanjing students or visitors from the Islamic Academy. Imagine how you might feel if an article entitled “10 Things I Dislike About Americans,” poking fun at everything from your style of dress and your manner of speech to your cultural norms, were published in a school in another country during your visit.

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