On The Road: With Liam Wogan

by Liam W.

The scooter is the type of vehicle that I find myself going out on when it starts to get a little sunny out.  I’m not talking about those motorized scooters either.

Gang, I’m talking about a good old-fashioned scooter that you pedal using brute force and skin-tight shorts. This is my vehicle of the month column, which I’m starting two months before I graduate from OES. And thank goodness I am starting it this late because there are only two vehicles I really care for. The first one is scooters, so my inaugural vehicle of the month is the traditional scooter.

​Though many kids, like the adorable little goon in the picture above, have had flawless, beautiful experiences with their scooters (and somehow wear matching outfits to go along with their scooter), I have had an up and down experience with scooters.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the vehicle, it runs like a champ, but let me give you all an anecdote that will provide you with a bit of a worse case scenario for your inevitable scooter-riding this May.

On a warm sunny day around this time of year two years back, the incident occurred. My hopes sky high, I asked my little brother, Petie, if he wanted to go out scooter riding with his older brother and mentor. “Hey little bro! Want to go grab some sunshine and memories with your big bro Liam?”, I asked cheerfully. “I can’t go out there man”, Petie responded a bit visciously, shaking his head and looking off into the distance.

In spite of that, I hopped onto my two-wheeler and whizzed out of our cul-de-sac on my own, the same way I would imagine Lance Armstrong used to whiz out of his cul-de-sac on his bike.

The ride was freeing and beautiful until I got going really fast. I started maniacally going down hill after hill, going so fast I spent a few seconds in the fourth dimension.

Let me clear this up now though; I was not going fast by choice, I was going fast because the brakes on the scooter were completely broken. I had gotten the scooter from my neighbor, who must have been some kind of brake-breaking psychopath (though he was about 11).

This wasn’t one of those famous razor scooters either, it was some old home-made looking scooter that looked as if it had been through a few recessions. But I rode this baby hard anyway, and reached a certain point on the hill where I decided I was talented enough to take one hand off the scooter.

Don’t ever over-estimate yourself.You’re not as good as you think you are. I quickly lost complete control of the thing and went flying off the side of the vehicle, leaving physical and emotional injuries that lasted far too long.

“Liam, are you saying scooters are dangerous?” No, reader. I’m saying that if you’re riding a scooter, don’t ride it the way I did. I’m not a role model. Keep both hands on that thing and get one with brakes. Ride it slow and steady. A scooter is a dependable vehicle.

Just as in those Ford truck commercials depicting the all-American tough guy who is always unloading cargo into the bed of his truck and driving it through mud, I believe the scooter deserves the same amount of respect as a Ford F-150.

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