Prom Preview

by Isabella W.

A Compilation of What Prom is Supposed to be like According to Every Movie Ever:

Prom:

The first question I have about this film is if anyone actually watched it. On IMDB the description is simply “A group of teenagers get ready for their high school prom”.  Now, I don’t know about you, but my experience of getting ready for prom usually does not have nearly enough drama to create a 104 minute movie.  Unless someone has an extremely hard time putting on a boutonniere, but still I don’t know if that’s substantial enough for a supposed Hollywood blockbuster.

Never Been Kissed:

Even though you are Drew Barrymore, you will be stood up by some guy in a limo (does anyone actually ride a limo to prom or is this a myth?) who throws some beverage at you (See Carrie for a slightly more morbid edition of this)  But don’t worry because the guy actually kind of sucks and you are crowned prom queen anyway (are prom queens myths too? What are these elusive prom creatures that lurk away from OES dances? Is there an underground prom court that nobody knows about that happens after hours in the Shanghai tunnels?)

Mean Girls:

Again, PROM COURTS DON’T EXIST I DON’T BELIEVE IT. THEY GIVE SPEECHES?! However, doesn’t detract from the quality of this film.

She’s All That:

Everyone will break into a coordinated flash mob—not having practiced at all and in very high heels. (Seriously if this is your first OES prom, we actually do this—be sure to watch this video and learn all the dance moves and start at exactly 8:42 pm)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dh-tyNkiuI

High School Musical:

Another dance number!!! This one is for the end of the dance ay 10:56.  Watch this fairly sexist and awful video to learn how to buy a dress, how to find a fitting suit (looking at you, Zac Efron in powder blue).  PSA: I always dance like this before I get ready for prom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpi4AJzWTCI

Grease:

Prom will likely be televised on national television and you must all be professional swing dancers or else you will lose and Cha-Cha DiGregorio will steal your date!!!!

Napolean Dynamite:

This one’s pretty accurate, actually.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLrvmPSe3Yg

It’s a Wonderful Life:

AHA! Caught you off guard with this obscure prom scene in a Christmas movie. They dance and everyone dives into a pool at some point which I am fully expecting to happen on the Willamette river this Saturday.

SET YOUR EXPECTATIONS (TOO) HIGH!!!! SEE YOU THERE.

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