How To Study For Finals

by Isabella W.

Here is a day by day account of my thoughts when I think about studying for finals.

Okay, I organized my Google calendar to a level of certain perfection and now I can start. I’m kind of hungry. I’m gonna get some healthy kale or something to fuel my brain. Oh wait, there are cookies. I think a cookie would mentally help me more.  Okay, good idea.  And I probably shouldn’t study while I eat the cookie because that would be distracting and my teachers will be confused if there are cookie crumbs on my work. Okay, so then I should probably just watch 5 minutes of Netflix as a study break. Yeah, that will be relaxing. Okay, that’s enough.  Now, I’ll start. Which final is first? SHOOT. I left my backpack upstairs.  Now I will walk upstairs. Bud is sitting on my computer so I can’t type.  He’s pretty fat.  Bud is my cat, by the way.  He’s uber fat, we should probably take him to the vet soon.  He’s cute. I want to pet him heheheheheheehe.

Then I repeat this process for about an hour and then I use my patented studying tips to actually be good at things:

  1. SELF CONTROL. My mom was super excited when I told her I was using Self Control, but then she found out it was an app and was kinda mad I was related to her.
  2. TURN OFF YOUR PHONE. Throw it under your bed.  Put it in the garbage.  Hide it in your freezer.  Put it in a shoe.
  3. Get a lil’ snack. Hit up some water. Call forth some strawberries —on a side note, raspberries are an awesome fruit, especially if you put them in a cup with limeade. I’m not kidding—it’s delicious.
  4. Use some film scores.  You study better and you can also act über dramatic while crying over your math final.
  5. Bathe so people aren’t disgusted by you (I guess that’s kinda a general life thing, but it works.)
  6. Go to sleep.
  7. Move to Timbuktu and hide from finals for 86.75 years

good luck.

(Me studying for finals…no seriously, that’s me.)