Emperor Bash

by Simon Mehari

Disclaimer: The description of Deri in this article is completely fictional and based off of my imagination. Please do not harass Deri with the contents displayed in this article, I did it all in good fun. (Also if you do not see me in the next couple of days PLEASE send help, Deri may have captured me).

Screen Shot 2015-09-30 at 10.37.40 AM(Nice charming photo of our one and only Deri B.)

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Candidate Statement

by Naomi Z.

Hi everyone! My name is Naomi and I’m a senior. I’m very excited to be running for the Arts and Lit mission rep position on Policy Board.

Since coming to OES at the start of my junior year, I have greatly enjoyed participating in all aspects of OES life, including joining the yearbook activity. I have also been very involved in the art department at my old high school. I was member of Nisk-Art magazine, a club which selected student artwork to be published in the yearly school magazine.

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Candidate Statement

by Rachael H.

My name is Rachael Haugh, and I am a senior running for the education seat on Policy Board.

I am not running without experience in the OES community: I have been a member of both the extreme study hall and science research activities. I have also dedicated the majority of my past three summers to the AASK program, helping to mentor and educate students from grades five through eight.

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Guilt and Privilege At OES

by Abe Asher

I hate telling people I go to OES.

Owning the fact that I attend an elite, hugely privileged, hugely expensive private school when not around other people in the same situation is uncomfortable territory for me.

I live in Northeast Portland, attended public middle school — just like my parents and their parents before them — I’ve got a brother at Cleveland, another probably on his way there in three years, and many of my friends go to public school as well.

I don’t feel guilty that I go to OES. I feel grateful. Extraordinarily so. But also uncomfortable. I’m no closer to running away from that now, in my fourth year at the school, than I was when I was shocked by the relative opulence of the school when I was a freshman.

Is there a certain nagging guilt, for lack of a better word, in attending or teaching at OES? Does it invalidate, to a certain extent, the work and accomplishments of its students and employees? Is that guilt, or invalidation, fair?

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Members of The Dig: Part 1

by Isabele R.

It’s that time of year again.

Activity has kicked into gear and the engine of our school, the globally renowned newsfeed of the year is whirring with new stories, news, and just general facts of life.

For those of you who have never read The Aardvark Dig — maybe you’re new, maybe you’re a vaguely unaware sophomore that just slips through life, or maybe you’re an upperclassman who offers nothing useful to the community — I’m going to give you the inside scoop on The Dig. Who does what, who doesn’t do anything, etc. Let’s get started.

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God and Sports

by Johnny S.

Religion and sports don’t necessarily seem to go hand in hand but, in many cities across the country, these two things make up a large part of life. Whether it is Friday Night Lights or Sunday morning mass, both religion and sports create a sense of community and passion for millions of people.

I was surprised when I saw that a survey done by the Public Religion Research Institute showed that 27% of Americans believe that “God plays a role in determining which team wins a sports event.”

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Sophomore Year

by Alden F.

The rumors of sophomore year being the greatest year in the foreseeable future, which for some is longer than others, is correct.

This year I can still have fun, but I am not new to everything. And according to Petie W. and others, “girls just wanna have fun”. A lot of people in my grade are discovering that they may be legally allowed to drive. This is a scary thought for me because a lot of my classmates are too short to reach the pedals. You know who you are.

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The Webcam

by Isabella Waldron

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Wow, I really want to watch dirt!” or maybe, “I’ve been dying to view the Lower School construction workers from a distance!”?

If so, now’s your chance! It’s called the lower school webcam and I found it last week.

It was the first week of school and I was meandering over to the OES website to find out what was for lunch in two hours. Little did I know, my life would soon be changed.

On the bottom of the page, I discovered a mysterious little link titled “Lower School Webcam” with an image of a happy, cartoon construction worker. Intrigued, I followed the link like Alice down the rabbit hole. What I found was just the thing you never knew you needed.

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