by Isabele R.
It’s that time of year again.
Activity has kicked into gear and the engine of our school, the globally renowned newsfeed of the year is whirring with new stories, news, and just general facts of life.
For those of you who have never read The Aardvark Dig — maybe you’re new, maybe you’re a vaguely unaware sophomore that just slips through life, or maybe you’re an upperclassman who offers nothing useful to the community — I’m going to give you the inside scoop on The Dig. Who does what, who doesn’t do anything, etc. Let’s get started.
For those of you who know Isabella, you’ll understand where I’m coming from on this one. When a member of The Dig submits an article Isabella is the first to shoot it down. She frequently bursts into fits of rage over subpar articles us meek writers submit to her. She’s vicious, and she runs a tight ship. Avert your eyes, don’t make any sudden movements, and never, ever, ask for her opinion on anything, ever.
Elie D. is the single most loud, obnoxious person I’ve ever encountered. She frequently interrupts Kara, shouts out her opinions and just generally doesn’t submit any work. Elie, much like Isabella also kills the dreams of our writers. She yells, a lot. She consistently startles our other editors and faculty member, Kara Tambellini into submission. Elie runs The Dig.
The most exciting thing we have to say about Abe A. is that he’s graduating this year. There is no doubt in my mind that he won’t run our newspaper into the ground. He almost accomplished this not-so-secret goal several times last year. Abe is a tyrant, ruthless and never to be crossed. Also notable is Abe’s inability to write. Because it is his second consecutive year as editor, he’s taken it upon himself to publish any and all of his own articles, whilst disregarding the works of all other writers in The Dig. Again, we look forward to Abe’s graduation this spring.