The Parking Situation

by Thomas P.

It’s Big. It’s Bad. It’s the greatest threat to the peace of our community since the vending machines broke down last year, leaving three people slightly peckish for all of ten minutes.

Yes, ladies, gentlemen, and other such individuals, it’s the Parking Situation.

The advent of our glorious new construction project has caused a phenomenal amount of stepped-on toes; indeed, one would think that, along with the bulldozers and giant crane, Skanska contractors have brought in an industrial toe-stepping device.

The entire community has felt the repercussions of the decision to change one tiny little part of the daily routine, and now the new system threatens to tear apart every value we have worked so hard to uphold.

Hyperbole aside, the new conventions for pickup, dropoff, and student parking cause a bit of an interesting problem: our OES community is normally so accepting, so caring, so supportive. Now, though, the parking situation is generating almost unheard-of tension.

Parents get irate, seniors whine, and Deb Walsh is on the verge of outright militarization. Sierra W. and Kate P. have been working diligently to improve the parking situation, but even after assuring every regular senior driver a place to park — a great privilege — they’re being swamped with complaints.

Although it’s an outrageous concept that drivers should be actually grateful — non-denominational deity forbid — one would think that the community could at least be a teeny-tiny-itty-little-mini-micro-pico-nano-science-department-should-be-happy-bit less corrosive towards the individuals who have labored so hard for their — our — well-being.

A little gratitude might even make a nice change from the relentless criticism that the organizers have been bombarded with. “Please do not complain,” Sierra W. said Wednesday in a published statement,  “because we have done everything that we can to make the parking situation the best that it can be.”

Although president Cyrus J’s assertion that Sierra and Kate’s breakthrough “will solve every problem that can be solved” has maybe just a bit of the truth-stretching that we have come to expect from elected officials, the Council’s work towards improving parking cannot be denied.

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