A Week in the Life of a Boy Prefect

By Simon Mehari

Living in the dorms is not too far from living at home, except for the fact that there are two and a half dozen hormone-crazed boys running around tackling and screaming at each other. It can become a hassle for faculty members, but I guess it is what they signed up for. Here’s a rundown of what an average day looks like:

Peter B. strolls into the dorm meeting with significantly less swagger than Justin K. and exponentially more obnoxiousness.

Interviewing Peter:

In general how has the boys dorm been this year?

The boys dorm has been surprisingly clean and astonishingly respectful.

Would you say that the good vibe in the dorms is created by the prefects or just the people in general?

I think the prefects are a big percentage of it, and I think the energy and excitement of the large amount of new students we have this year brings a huge opportunity for positive momentum in the dorms. Also helps that we got rid of Kerr who was a terrible person and could not grow a sweet mustache. NOT to mention he had an awful odor and he was loud.

Will we get our microwave back? (This was after we had a couple of resolved microwave incidents)

[Looks up in awe] We are going to put together a blue ribbon task force to examine the microwave usage and interest. Research possible microwave models with extensive meetings for the replacement. Various primary votes and emotional speeches. Before I can even answer that. We also are going to implement the rule that you have to be next to the microwave if you are using it so no accidents occur.

Are we limited to three bathrooms?

Until the phantom pooper is caught, justice will not sleep in Jackson house. It’s a lot easier to not flush when you’re pooping outside. [I acknowledge the truth behind this disgust]

 

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