by Thomas Hochman
I know that soccer season has been over for a while now, but if you missed coming and watching me sit on a bench, don’t worry — tennis season is in full swing. Matt S. is gone, but, believe it or not, tennis still exists. Here are a few reasons to come watch the team.
- Daniel B.’s hair in a headband.
- If you’re someone that loves peace and quiet, great! You may well be the only one in the bleachers.
- People yelling at themselves in the second person after losing a point.
- Sam B’s serve, clocking in at around 9000 miles per hour, has been referred to as “more terrifying than a Trump presidency.”
- Daniel L. and Nat S.’s 20 minute walkovers in which their biggest sign of a weakness is when Daniel gets distracted by Nat’s hair and forgets to swing his racquet.
- Pushkar S.’s forehand
- Pushkar S.’s backhand
- Pushkar S.
- Me and Jake C. thoughtfully commentating on every single match, expressing exciting new ideas like, “Oh wow that was good” and “Uh oh,” until Abe makes fun of us for it and we stop.
- Bryan C. showing up late.
- Coaches Maureen Harwood and Chris Leong lampooning Bryan C. for showing up late.
- Abe and Lucas S. having so many inside jokes that conspiracies have risen among some of the players that they may in fact be the same person.
- “Because… my sister. Because… sports. Because… highly skilled… sports.” – Claire C.
- We are one of the top 147 OES tennis teams since the school’s inception in 1869.
- Our team picture.
- No one ever comes and watches the tennis team and you really should.