by Isabella Waldron

Prom season is upon us and with it comes the brainstorming of creative and effective prom asks. People have gone wild in recent years, climbing cars, flying planes, who knows what. It seems that nothing is too crazy for a prom ask anymore. However, I disagree. In an effort to change this exponential curve of promprosal-wildness, I have created a definitive guide of what NOT to do:

  1.     Do not hide in bushes or rooms or driveways without alerting at least one person. Things could go wrong so easily. A mother might come home, see a young teenager in the bushes, and soon you will be in jail, confused and alone. Things become more dangerous when a driveway is involved. Cars + hiding people + garage doors do not mix. Please avoid.
  2.     Avoid fire. Fire can go wrong easily, too. It’s always good to have eyebrows leftover for prom.
  3.     Don’t smother your date in butter. This is always wildly overrated. They will be greasy and probably confused.
  4.     Interpretive dance.
  5.     Actually, I take that back. PLEASE ask me to prom with an interpretive dance.
  6.     A parade. Too much.
  7.     Drive your date to a mysterious location in Idaho blindfolded to ask he/she there. Again, this could lead to some kidnapping issues.
  8.     Hide under their bed. They will never be able to sleep again.
  9.     Give your intended date food they are allergic to. Example: peanut butter cookies to Abe Asher will leave you without a date and probably with a lawsuit.
  10. Ask them with a fake question on a math test but only AFTER they complete the entire test.