by Claire Collins
After consulting my consultants I have determined that for wikiHow to become the world’s best resource in step by step instruction, I will have to do a few more tests. The previous two articles I tested are child’s play compared to what I will be doing now.
I will be testing an article called “How to Adopt a Pretend Dinosaur” first. This article looks promising. I am a big fan of dinosaurs, but sadly they are not here. R.I.P dinosaurs. The next best thing, however, is a pretend dinosaur.
The first step is to find the dinosaur I want to adopt. This was the easy part. I chose a Moschops because they look ridiculous:
I now have to decide a personality for my dinosaur. I decided that “Bertha” is a fun and quirky teen who like to do arts and crafts in her spare time. Her favorite activity is making friendship bracelets, but it is pretty difficult with the lack of opposable thumbs. I also decided that I found her abandoned on my doorstep late at night in a basket with a note attached to her.
The rest of the tips given on the page are about caring for your imaginary, adopted dinosaur. It says to treat the dinosaur like family, so I decided that Bertha will take the place of my brother in my family, who is at college and too good for us.
I rate this wikiHow article an 11/10 because now I have a new sister who is constantly making me friendship bracelets and eating my enemies.
The second article I tested was “How to Cope With Being Under 13”. This is a huge problem I have. I am constantly sad because I am only about 5’5” tall, and not the 13 feet tall that I would like to be.
The first step is to find a hobby, and I guessed this would help. I won’t focus on my height as much. I decided to take up sticker collecting because there is no bias against average height sticker collectors. The second step is to study. This will also distract me from my moderate lack of height.
The rest of the tips are pretty similar to this, but by the end I realized one thing: this article was about being younger than 13 years old! It was NOT about being shorter than 13ft tall. I was misdirected and would really like to have an article about the latter option. I rate this 0/10. Would not use again.
The last article I tested is called “How to Create Sounds with Your Armpit.” I was very excited for this one because I have always envied the people who could do this. There are only four steps so I was pretty sure I could master it in no time. I was sure that in a couple days I would be armpit farting up a storm.
I followed the steps BUT I COULD NOT GET IT TO WORK. IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. I AM SO ANGRY!!!! I finally stopped after a solid hour of trying to succeed. This article gets a -100/10 because it didn’t help me at all and I still can’t do armpit farts.
Adopt an Imaginary Dinosaur: http://m.wikihow.com/Adopt-a-Pretend-Dinosaur
Coping with Being Under 13: http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-Being-Under-13
Armpit Farts: http://www.wikihow.com/Create-Sounds-with-Your-Armpit