by Abe Asher, Isabella Waldron, & Elie Doubleday
A Few Things I Have Learned.
- If you have Rick for English 10, do your Poetry Project on Charles Bukowski. Bukowski is Rick’s favorite poet — you’ll see why in short order if you read his work — and picking him guarantees you an A. See Sam Berger for more information.
- To the 97% percent of you who go around bashing country music, listen to this song. It’s good by any objective measure.
- Embrace the moments when you’re emotional — excited, grateful, nervous, enraged, upset, whatever — it means you’re alive. And as long as you’re alive, you’ve got a shot.
- It takes 10,000 reps to get good at anything. That includes teaching.
- Watch this scene at least once a month.
- This one too.
- When I was a freshman, I went to the district tennis tournament to support my team. While there, I wandered over to the OES snack table and was about to take a handful of Whoppers when Coleen Davis whipped around and screamed at me, “ARE THOSE YOUR WHOPPERS?” Once she found out from her mortified players that I went to OES, she insisted that I take a piece of her birthday cake — which was touching, except that I am allergic to nuts and had no idea what was in the cake. So this story ends with me running into the THPRD park trying to find a garbage can to discard my cake while not trying to appear rude to Coleen who had just screamed at me. Freshman year was tough.
- Turns out, Coleen is the best.
- The Brothers K by David James Duncan is the great American novel. Read it. Several times.
- Twitter is the best social media platform. Wikipedia and Nat Borchers are the greatest things to ever happen to humanity.
- Remember that a good play is a good play even if the set falls down.
- I wouldn’t advocate plagiarism, but if you hear something you like, steal it — like I just stole the last line from Aaron Sorkin’s The Newsroom.
- If you’re going to this school, you’ve got something — whatever it might be — going for you.
- Learn how to swear really, really well.
- And now, to borrow from the great Edward R. Murrow and even the great Keith Olbermann, good night, and good luck.
Quotes from Lizzy McGuire that I interpreted well:
Lizzie: This is impossible, I could never sing in front of an audience. I don’t even let my mom hear me in the shower.
Lizzie, I must admit that you were wrong for once here! Lizzie thought she could never sing in front of an audience but then she got onstage with Italian Pop Superstar Paulo and was amazing. Try putting yourself out there and who knows what will happen!
David ‘Gordo’ Gordon: My cousin had a hamster named Joely!
Value your connections. You’ll never know where they will lead you and what amazing people you will meet.
Lizzie: Here, it’s a… caterpillar.
[handing Matt a balloon]
Matt McGuire: This is a lame balloon animal.
Lizzie: Oh, sorry, let me fix it…
[cracks the balloon]
Lizzie: There, now it’s extinct.
Sometimes you can’t fix everything and sometimes you make things worse. IT’S OKAY. Just take a deep breath, watch some Lizzie McGuire, and let it go!
Gordo: Trash is gold, stinky gold but gold nonetheless.
Something you hate might be worth more than you think! Embrace it.
To conclude: Lizzie: [singing] Hey now, hey now, this is what dreams are made of. Hey now, hey now, this is what dreams are made of, I’ve got somewhere I belong, I’ve got somebody to love…
Funny. Turns out I don’t have any wisdom. So I listed to Baz Luhrmann’s commencement speech song thing and have some lovely takeaways for you all.
“Wear sunscreen.” Everyone always tells me this. Apparently I burn easily. And then my skin peels. I’m now an advocate for sunscreen, at least on the face.
“Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra problem by chewing bubble gum.” I relate with this one personally. Worrying and I get along quite well.
“Floss.” Aaron L. and Andy S. can tell you just how much flossing means to me.
“Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.”
“Stretch.” Especially if you’re taking a PE class and have fitness testing coming up.
“Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what your want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds still don’t.” Tell this to every adult ever who asks “so, do you know what you want to study yet?” because of course I don’t, I only just picked out what college I to go to and am currently focusing on not dying as I wait for the school year to end.
“Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.” Can’t relate to this one personally.
“Don’t congratulate yourself too much. Don’t berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.” This one is somewhat similar to What Mikaelah M. said in the senior wisdom chapel about being proud, yet humble.
“Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.” I feel like then it’s just a waste of time.
“Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when your were young prices were better, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.”
“But trust me on the sunscreen.”