How to Get Away With 1st Degree Murder

By Peter Bloch

Have you ever wondered if The Purge could be real? Well, there’s a place in the United States where it is.

The Yellowstone Area, encompassing parts of Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho, has been home to people for over 11,000 years. In 1872, it became the world’s first national park, setting a precedent for wildlife conservation for generations to come. However, because of the U.S.’ careful legislature, there is a section of the park in which crimes can go entirely unpunished. Known as the “Zone of Death,” the U.S. Constitution protects anyone who attempts to commit a crime in that section of the park.

The issue is caused by the park’s geography. Yellowstone is primarily located in the state of  Wyoming, but bleeds into the states of Montana, and Idaho, as Yellowstone was a part of Federal land before the three states had joined the Union. Despite this fact, Yellowstone is given to the District court of Wyoming, which is the root of the problem.

According to the 6th Amendment to the United States Constitution, “In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law.”

Contrary to popular belief, there are many people who take residence in Yellowstone National park. There is even a series of hotels that are open to the public for most of the year. However, there are no permanent residents in the state of Idaho that also reside in the Yellowstone park area.

Assuming you are a U.S. citizen, after committing a crime, you can demand your 6th amendment right. In fact, this is the same right that allows one “to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation,” and later provides a lawyer if necessary.

If all of these steps were to be followed, the opposition would fail to find a jury, as no one lives in both the state of Idaho, and that district of Wyoming. After demanding your rights granted to you as a citizen, you could walk away free from any crime committed in that area. In other words, AVOID THE ZONE OF DEATH!

For further research, I recommend you read Brian C. Kalt’s paper, The Perfect Crime

Please note: I do not condone any malicious actions mentioned in this article. Also, to kidnap someone and bring them to the park would not protect you from the kidnapping, as it occurred outside of those limits.

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