By Sahil Veeramoney
Vegetarians, vegans, and all other non-carnivorous individuals, beware. The following content may contain elements that are not suitable for you — reader discretion is advised.
Recently, McDonald’s announced two compatriots to the legendary, notorious Big Mac: the Grand Mac and the Mac Jr. This new reveal left entrenched fast-food enthusiasts uncontrollably salivating and reinvigorated, especially after America’s favorite hamburger chain gutted its much anticipated, kiosk-based “Create Your Taste” program.
For a while, McDonald’s had been struggling, and although its desperation Hail Mary to make the Breakfast menu available around-the-clock, may have satiated consumer demands temporarily, it was clear that something fresh had to be done.
Thus, the creation of a system which enabled customers to create their own, customized burgers seemed like the right, modernized direction to take the menu. Unfortunately, at least for Mickey Dee’s, this plan fizzled out. They probably realized that these custom burgers, which costed around $8 to $10, would have lost to more “restaurant-esque” burgers from places like Five Guys where prospective consumers would probably be more inclined to spend that kind of money.
Their answer to this failed idea? Made from two 100% beef patties, a total of 1/3 lbs of cow, lettuce, american cheese, dill pickles, minced onions, three enlarged sesame seed buns, and renowned special sauce, the Grand Mac boasts a whopping (not to be confused with Burger King’s “Whopper”) 890 CALORIES.
In fact, if you were to consume this burger, you would be having 52 grams of fat, 140 grams of cholesterol, 1470 mg of sodium, and taking 90% of your “healthy” saturated fat intake in one sitting — essentially imminent cardiac arrest and fatality. This behemoth of a burger is so damn huge that the box it comes says “You’re going to need two hands.” The Grand Mac’s little brother, the Mac Jr., seemingly comes off as much less intimidating and according to McDonald’s, “the perfect burger on the go.”
I am not exactly sure how the latter is going to play into their menu, as it meets an almost too specific burger portion. Moreover, the Mac Jr. is slightly smaller than a Big Mac and slightly larger than a regular quarter pounder, but we will see about its future.
As for how far the new burgers have fared among critics so far, the reactions are mainly mixed. Some believe it’s the best thing to happen on earth since Oakland-native Dame Lillard buried the Houston Rockets in Round 1 of the 2014 NBA playoffs and others believe that the new Mac’s are anti-climactic, overhyped, and drenched in lakes of special sauce.
For now, McDonald’s has made these new burgers a limited time offer, probably with the aim to rapidly draw in a high volume of customers and despite the ambivalence surrounding them, it seems to be working.
Hell, even I’m going to try them. The future of fast food is uncertain, and with chains like McDonald’s, Taco Bell, and KFC, innovating on a day-to-day basis, every new item, idea, or system, could be the catalyst for the modern fast-food revolution — whatever that means.
However, this weekend, I, along with a few friends, will be traveling to different fast food chains and trying out their latest items, in hopes to identify the next big thing. Thanks for reading and to all the fast-food enthusiasts within the OES community, the review will be posted sometime next week; if it is not, I’m at the ER being treated for my clogged arteries.