301 Life Tips

By Asa B. and Ethan B.


This book began work in September 2014, by two wide-eyed kids named Ethan B. and Asa B.

1) Don’t start a land war in Asia.

2) Win.

3) Don’t tug on anyone’s cape.

4) Don’t spit into the wind.

5) No one likes a tattle tale.

6) Don’t be the guy that messes things up.

7) Don’t spill the beans.

8) Learn song lyrics.

9) Drink water.

10) Never do tequila shots.

11) Never climb Mt. Everest.

12) Eat salad when you are young.

13) Sleep.

14) Play defensively.

15) Rewatch children’s movies

16) Practice, Practice, Practice.

17) Take chances.

18) Follow a sport.

19) Life keeps moving, move with it.

20) Never give up.

21) Give everything to follow your passion.

22) Debate with people when you disagree.

23) Relax.

24) Life is short.

25) Don’t say you’re an atheist to a preacher.

26) Try new things.

27) Wear clothes in public.

28) Travel in your 20s.

29) Don’t street race in rental cars.

30) Don’t drink Japanese soft drinks.

31) Treasure life’s beautiful moments.

32) Eat slower.

33) Get a library card.

34) Never make a bet with a Sicilian when death is on the line.

35) Wear a watch.

36) Eat a lot of protein.

37) Do what you love.

38) Love what you do.

39) If you attack Russia, pack warm clothes

40) Carrying things makes you look busy.

41) Try not to die.

42) Aim for great heights.

43) Don’t go to Walmart for fashion tips.

44) Milk your birthday for all it’s worth.

45) Don’t commit to anything unless you’ve researched it.

46) Build a résumé for yourself.

47) Anything is possible.

48) Be bold.

49) Tip good waiters.

50) One day you will die.

51) The best things in life are free.

52) Real life doesn’t have an undo button.

53) Never buy a used oven.

54) Give second chances.

55) Be happy.

56) Never pray to Satan in a church.

57) Don’t yell “Bomb!” in an airport.

58) Don’t lie to your boss.

59) Find a way.

60) Have wit.

61) Live in the moment.

62) Do what it takes to be happy.

63) Never give a squirrel a latté.

64) Don’t eat the hard part of a cantaloupe.

65) Carry a water bottle.

66) No matter what don’t drink vinegar.

67) Live an honest life.

68) Don’t fall for bad jokes.

69) Use bad puns.

70) Don’t try to iron your pants while they are on.

71) Say yes.

72) Set realistic role models.

73) Don’t cross old women.

74) Don’t cross Russians.

75) Don’t cross Old Russian Women.

76) Make sure you have a life.

77) Don’t get addicted to phones.

78) Don’t get addicted to computers.

79) Don’t get addicted to television.

80) In general stay away from the whole addiction lifestyle.

81) Pay attention.

82) Be positive in every aspect of life.

83) Raise your children and other children.

84) Put good music out into the world.

85) Make people laugh.

86) Find your credo.

87) Create things.

88) Do good things.

89) Hangout with good people.

90) Discover your purpose in life through gnosis.

91) Pay attention in math class.

92) Find and enjoy pleasant experiences.

93) Serve.

94) Find love in the world.

95) Connect to other people with love.

96) Make the world a better place.

97) Fulfill your passions in life.

98) Chuckle.

99) Make peace possible for the world.

100) Make happiness possible through creativity and exploration.

101) Make others happiness possible.

102) Stay away from fire.

103) Connect.

104) Explore.

105) Create

106) Commit.

107) Cite your sources.

108) Any loving is good loving, enjoy it.

109) See no evil.

110) Speak no evil.

111) Tell no evil.

112) Be good at what you do.

113) If you brag, back it up.

114) Don’t go around breaking hearts.

115) Make as few enemies as possible.

116) Go to amusement parks.

117) Make friends.

118) Find your staple recipe.

119) Construct meaning.

120) Learn how to cook.

121) Eat your veggies.

122) Respect your parents.

123) Have a “My Pictures” folder.

124) Don’t take drugs.

125) Don’t worry.

126) Break rules.

127) Cheer for the underdog.

128) Reward character.

129) Have a desire to be different.

130) Make a statement.

131) Learn from your mistakes.

132) It’s ok to have dreams.

133) Be the hero.

134) Punish bad behavior.

135) Don’t provoke a nuclear war.

136) Don’t deal drugs.

137) Don’t mess with football players.

138) Don’t talk gibberish in a language you don’t know.

139) Don’t be a dictator.

140) Be the change you want to see in the world.

141) Change your underwear.

142) Shower.

143) Use Soap.

144) Don’t have bad breath.

145) Don’t pick your nose.

146) If you’re terrified, run don’t hide.

147) Pass the ball.

148) Don’t get conned.

149) Forgive yourself.

150) Pick yourself up.

151) Be weird, but don’t be a weirdo.

152) If your lips are chapped, don’t lick them.

153) Don’t brag about how many times you’ve thrown up.

154) Stay in school.

155) Don’t believe everything on the internet.

156) Drink milk.

157) Learn how to sew.

158) Find a peace with nature.

159) Take a vacation.

160) Don’t suck.

161) Don’t smoke.

162) Love.

163) Turn in your work.

164) Don’t back talk.

165) Be a cool guy.

166) Don’t be too cool for school.

167) Have a happy place.

168) Make a good relationship with your teachers early on.

169) Memorize stuff.

170) Reduce your attachment to possessions.

171) Develop an endless curiosity about this world.

172) Remember names.

173) Remember faces.

174) Smile.

175) Make a pump up playlist.

176) Be a good guy.

177) Work hard.

178) Want to work.

179) Want to work hard.

180) Protest what matters.

181) Have more intelligence than a fly.

182) Don’t take everything seriously.

183) Be positive.

184) Read.

185) Get sunshine.

186) Don’t drink too much liquid.

187) If you star in an infomercial, you’re not a star.

188) Practice moderation.

189) Don’t play too many video games.

190) Don’t eat too much.

191) If you have gout, you need to change your lifestyle.

192) Strive to be the classiest guy in the room.

193) Don’t slow down.

194) Just because you think you’re cool, doesn’t mean you are.

195) When in doubt, stay quiet.

196) It is hard to start a revolution.

197) Think hard before getting a trisectomy.

198) Believe in something.

199) Don’t make up conspiracy theories.

200) Wear hats.

201) Sometimes, it’s a good idea to have a day where you do nothing.

202) Don’t do nothing a lot.

203) Don’t be a hermit.

204) Eat green eggs and ham.

205) Don’t get caught pranking.

206) Break the law only if you have a good reason.

207) Don’t shoplift.

208) It’s ok to make mistakes.

209) Avoid bragging unless you can back it up.

210) Try to do a backflip but make sure you don’t fail.

211) Don’t karate-kick and break your arm.

212) Don’t be a bully.

213) Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

214) Don’t wear expensive looking clothes in the hood.

215) Don’t get arrested.

216) Have good first impressions.

217) Don’t send an email to everyone you know about something you lost.

218) Don’t cross math teachers.

219) Don’t do a prank that hurts anyone.

220) Life is short, but it is the longest thing you will do.

221) Don’t mess with fate.

222) Don’t be an antagonist.

223) Don’t be pessimistic.

224) Sometimes, it’s okay not to be a hero.

225) Don’t mess with Texas.

226) Don’t litter.

227) Don’t get road rage.

228) Don’t spit on a tough guy.

229) It’s ok not to be macho.

230) Don’t eat the fake nacho cheese at sporting events.

231) Just kidding fake nacho cheese is so good.

232) Don’t like songs after they are popular.

233) Don’t have thousands of iTunes songs.

234) Don’t be ahead or behind “the curve”, be right with it.

235) There will always be someone better than you at something.

236) Admit it when you fail.

237) Comparison is the thief of happiness.

238) Seek adventure.

239) Life isn’t always life-threatening.

240) Learn the heimlich maneuver.

241) Make a bucket list.

242) Go to Mardis Gras in New Orleans.

243) Watch movies.

244) Get swole.

245) Don’t get yourself sick to lose weight.

246) Be in charge of your own life.

247) Dance a little.

248) Find a team.

249) Your guacamole is not always the best guacamole.

250) Find some friends.

251) Push your car from one destination to another in order to save gas.

252) Don’t be “that guy”.

253) Be “that guy”.

254) Buy a stethoscope.

255) Real bear hugs are often deadly.

256) Early bird gets the worm.

257) Second mouse gets the cheese.

258) Don’t wear spurs to school.

259) Be romantic.

260) Watch sunsets.

261) Get good at a card game.

262) Don’t let anyone make you bleed.

263) Enjoy life.

264) Blaze your own trails

265) Choose a team and stick with it.

266) Don’t be naïve.

267) There are two sides to every argument.

268) Don’t buy a pet tiger.

269) Mess with the bull, you get the horns.

270) Any argument that starts with “Nobody” is a bad argument .

271) Make puns.

272) If you’re not cheating you’re not trying.

273) Tell everyone you meet you’re bad at names.

274) Do it.

275) Revenge is a dish best served cold.

276) Don’t look at the nutrition information on a soda.

277) Invest in your interests.

278) Don’t be yellow or blue.

279) Be green.

280) Take advantage.

281) Argue, but don’t be a lawyer.

282) Stay humble.

283) Fly like a butterfly.

284) Sting like a bee.

285) Live at the top of a mountain.

286) Hold grudges, sometimes.

287) Eat up.

288) Don’t be the guy that doesn’t know which way is up on a map.

289) Be famous.

290) You name it.

291) Swear at the right moments.

292) You can disregard any statement that begins with “Technically…”.

293) You are in control of your life.

294) Movement is a movement.

295) No cop, no stop.

296) Finish what you start.

297) Less is not more, less is less. That’s why it’s called less.

298) Almost there.

299) Don’t do anything this book tells you to do.

300) Just kidding, take these seriously.

301) Actually though, this is some wisdom straight up, use it well.

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