By Asa Brown
What a coincidence that many that were off campus over lunch were punished for their lack of attendance.
What a coincidence that it is unknown who started the fire. What a coincidence that the usually insensitive fire alarms went off because of just a few clouds of smoke. What a coincidence that nobody knows where Kara was during the fire. What a coincidence that Kara doesn’t teach during F block, so she loses no class. What a coincidence Kara doesn’t like We didn’t start the fire by Billy Joel. What a coincidence that Kara had already eaten lunch before the designated time for Upper School.
Yes, you’re hearing me correctly. That fire was not your friendly neighborhood arsonist, but another figure. Kara Tambellini: teacher, mother, fire-starting conspirator? When Kara was asked today about arson, she cryptically replied, “it’s my hobby.” Unable to lie in the most pressing situation, Kara admitted to setting the fire. Here is a picture of Kara:
Now let’s look at this again.
Interesting, eh? Kara is not only a firestarter to punish students, she is also an illuminati supporter. Or maybe she is the leader of the Oregon Illuminati. And let’s look at that note.
Ah ha! Proof that Kara started the fire. And that’s not all. Her glasses are also very similar to that of cult leader Roy Jeffs.
The story keeps getting more interesting. And how about where she dwells?
Pretty dark for an office, huh? Let’s get a closer look.
Wow. What a stunning discovery. It may be hard to see, but the title of her office is clearly is “Cult Place” and not “The Deanery” as many may believe. Either way, at least we know who started the fire.