by Noah Wali
As the lacrosse regular season comes to an end, let’s take a look back on some fan favorites from the JV boys lacrosse season.
Without further ado, here’s a list of some of the most cultured, charismatic young student athletes, all of whom are at the top for recruitment of their respective ages.
I used a randomizer to select 5 players to highlight on this article. If you are a player on JV who feels left out, please contact me and I will personally read you your own portrayal.
Jacen “TheLivingMeme” Wilkins. If you’re on this lacrosse team, you won’t go 30 seconds without hearing my man Jacen talk and boy, is he funny. From his badass-and-100%-not-factual stories of his friends to personal information that no one wants to hear, Jacen is the spiritual heartbeat of our team. His mad skills at attack leave us speechless on the sidelines, as he zips past multiple checks, somehow keeping the ball intact. One of a couple swing players, Jacen has a passion for the game, often showing his feelings outwardly to refs, coaches, and teammates in outbursts that we’re sure are eloquent but are somewhat dulled by his mouthguard. Jacen knows the game inside out, and if you ever want to hear how sick BMW’s are, Jacen is your guy. J Wilks for team captain 2018. (P.S. check his sick ski edits). Get there J Willy. You look good.
Kennedy “WillShoveYouIntoTheWallReboundingABasketball” Balandi. The most humble man anyone could ever know. If you come to witness the greatness of JV, you will see Kennedy’s beefy calves bulging as he runs the entire length of the field without cradling, destroying the opponent’s ankles with his soccer-esque mindset. Never let his kindness fool you, the guy is a beast.
Max “MightBeGrahamO’Connor’sChild” Fitzloff. The quiet one… that is until about 6 months ago when he hit a major growth spurt. This hypebeast shouldn’t be slept on. (Insert a bunch of colorful remarks here about Max’s charming good looks that Thomas wouldn’t let me keep in because “this will get me kicked out of the school if I publish this” and other editor mumbo-jumbo). Max has some of the best stick skills known to mankind, and his high percentage shot helps us keep that 3-6-2 record. Don’t sleep on Max.
Ian “WearsGucciAndPradaToSchoolOnTheDailyAndIsAgainstSkaters” Roberts. The goalie. What more can you say about that? Never get in this man’s way. There’s no stopping this train. You’re the man Ian.
Ryan “Fire” Brown. Definitely that kid who is just never afraid of anything, especially trucking dudes a lot bigger than himself. Doesn’t have much to say, but his athleticism and performance on the field speaks for itself. This man is fearless. Sko ‘varks.
Come support yours truly, the JV boys today at Lincoln at 6! It is going to be one heck of a game. Also, support Varsity, I guess, whenever they play.
Til’ next time.