By Asa Brown
Throughout my embattled years at this school, my Fridays have always been punctuated by the sweet and delectable taste of chocolate milk. I always looked forward to a rich and creamy burst halfway through my Friday. So, you can image my dismay when, I went to get a glass and I was denied by the same, stark white milk.
I slowly walked back to my table, defeated, feeling shameful for the audacity I had to think that this year would be different from last year, which was also void of chocolate milk. And I understand the reasoning behind the prohibition that limited our chocolate milk consumption. Despite the fact that I personally disagree with the health food agenda pushed forward by many in the past few years, I am not arguing for a reverse policy in terms of sugar consumption. And although I would argue that a decision is only righteous if it is chosen to be followed, I am choosing to bury my anti-prohibiting stance. However, I would like to apologize to chocolate milk, on behalf of our school.
An open letter to chocolate milk
Dear Chocolate Milk,
We aren’t a lot, just a humble gathering of aardvarks in this screwed up world. You never left us. But we left you. We wanted to hurt you. Our anti-sugar ideals and fantasies raged high in the winter of 2015, and you were left as the scapegoat. You took the blunt of our hate. And now, we miss you. We beg for you back. There was never a time where some said that they didn’t like chocolate milk. You were underrated. Because chocolate milk, you were always more than a delicious treat on a Friday afternoon. You were the incarnation of options, of freedom. You gave us an arrogance, a swagger. And in your absence, we realize how much we need you. Trivia has still not returned, Trump is president, the constant should be chocolate milk.
Chocolate milk, we are forlorn.
I want chocolate milk back. Student council, prove your worth.