5 Reasons Why Oatmeal Raisin Cookies are Better than Chocolate Chip

by Annie Watson

I thought it was about time The Dig saw some real journalism. Let’s jump right in.

    1. They have the best chewy consistency of any OES cookie, and unlike the chocolate chip, they’re never overbaked.
    2. The inventor of the chocolate chip cookie, Ruth Wakefield, was a dietician, and therefore cannot be trusted to create desserts.
    3. When asked which is better, chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin, Carey Jones, Senior Managing Editor of seriouseats.com, and my new best friend, replied, “Oatmeal raisin all the way. The middle-meets-edge part of an oatmeal cookie, with the buttery, sweet oatmeal base getting all golden and crisp but still chewy in the middle, is unbeatable.”
    4. According to science, 80% of people in a study said they would rather root for an underdog than a team favored to win. Because oatmeal raisin cookies are the underdog, the majority of us obviously want oatmeal raisin to hold the title as best. If you don’t, shed your personal beliefs/morals and conform.

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Oatmeal raisin (pause for effect) was listed before chocolate chip. This obviously means that it’s everyone’s favorite cookie, and chocolate chip is inferior, case closed, enjoy your oatmeal raisin cookies.

10 thoughts on “5 Reasons Why Oatmeal Raisin Cookies are Better than Chocolate Chip

    • Hi Jack,
      I appreciate and value your opinion, but my dear friend, Google, says that oatmeal raisin cookies are better than chocolate chip. Because everything on the internet is true, the evidence is irrefutable. Plus, the raisins add to the texture. Feel free to change your mind, apologize, and/or repent.

  1. Hi Grace,
    Thank you for trying to help, but oatmeal chocolate chip cookies are a travesty and disgrace to everything holy in this world. The use of chocolate chips instead of raisins in an oatmeal cookie is similar the use of used Band-Aids instead of sea shells on a sand castle. Wrong and gross. I spent most of August this year drafting a bill to punish the pollution of oatmeal cookies with a minimum of 5 years jail time, but alas, my congressional allies are still looking it over. Now, I have zero credibility on this, but I’m 86% certain that oatmeal chocolate chip cookies only happened ’cause some innocent grandmother tried to make oatmeal raisin without her glasses. They are and always will be a mistake.

    Also, the oatmeal chocolate chip cookie didn’t make Google’s Top 9, so it pretty much doesn’t exist.


  2. […] Notes: To expedite the getting-kidnapped-by-a-health-food-witch process, try dropping some subtle hints that you’re a good kidnapping target. Ex: “Man wouldn’t it be cool if we could limit overpopulation and carbon emissions from the meat production industry at the same time?”, “Let’s play two truths and a lie! I’ll start: 1) I have few relatives and no dependents, 2) I feel replaceable and unafraid of death, 3) I hate oatmeal raisin cookies.” […]

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