By Annie Watson
Nic from 9th grade writes:
Should I wear deodorants?
Good question. Deodorant can be used safely, but it is important to know the difference between deodorant use and abuse. There are three classes of deodorant: gateway, prescription, and the hard stuff (aka Class A). The first two can be used responsibly, but the last is extremely toxic to the human olfactory system, and is one of the most deadly biological warfare agents (second only to the bubonic plague – click here for my favorite image result of “plague clipart”). Also, Nic, I couldn’t help but notice…
Are you using more than one? More than five? Is your use interfering with once loved hobbies or spending time with your family? Is your (ab)use altering your sense of identity? (You put a question mark after your own name…just sayin’). I’m worried about you, bud. Just use deodorant in moderation, and feel free to talk to Amanda if you ever feel out of control. On an unrelated note, my friend, Nicole, is currently single and has expressed interest in meeting you 👍
P.S. If you are in possession of A*E B*dy Sp**y, also known as Satan’s Fog, and the crack cocaine of deodorant, remove it from your possession immediately. Don’t want to end up like Michael (he OD’d four hours after this was taken).
Below is the DAA logo and a map to the OES DAA meeting spot: