By Noah Wali and Jonah Song
Noah Wali and Jonah Song tackle the Sparc parking issue in the first ever issue of “OES Business Ventures”.
OES Business Ventures Week is a new page in the Dig created by Noah Wali and Jonah Song in which we take ideas from the OES community, typically business ideas, and bring them all into one location for the student body to read. Genius ideas from students will be posted each week, and the ideas and businesses are meant to better OES and its community. Please email firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com for any business ideas you would like to propose. Thank you.
This time on Business Ventures week, we welcome Noah Wali’s solution to parking.
For many years, OES Juniors, Sophomores, and the occasional Freshman dreadfully park at Sparc as the rules deem mandatory. The unpleasant walk up from Sparc at 7:45 in the morning is the last thing anyone wants to be doing when last night’s homework forced you to stay up until 3 in the morning. Due to these horrors, there is no doubt that for students and student-athletes alike, the walk up from Sparc in the morning and back down after school is one of the most hated policies OES has in place. Seniors, faculty, and guests, on the other hand, are able to arrive to school later, as well as leave way earlier than us “underclassmen”. How can this be considered fair? Shouldn’t all students have equal opportunities?
I, Noah Wali, have formulated a genius idea, along with my chosen business partner, Jonah Song: OES’ very own parking valet service, entitled © OESparc. All rights Reserved. If anyone steals the idea or company name, you may have a pending lawsuit against you for fraud. OESparc and OES’ valet service are of copyright material. Any non-consensual practice similar to that of this company WILL be breaking the law.
OESparc is a fully functioning, legal valet service whose mission is to serve and support the OES student body by simply making one’s chaotic, bustling life at OES less stressful!
How it works:
OESparc will hire an undisclosed amount of students from each free block to be able to accommodate the changing schedule blocks. Each day, a student may drive their car to the gym parking lot, up to the area of the lot closest to Montclair Elementary School. Starting at 7:15 Am, OESparc employees will be manning our stand for the students. You will be offered free waters and snacks for your walk up to OES. When you arrive, if it is your first time, we ask that you sign a waiver, in which asks whether or not you want to give the company permission to operate your vehicle. We, as the company, take all responsibility for any damage to the car or for any stolen valuables. Your car will then be ushered to Sparc, where it will be parked for the remainder of the day. Your keys will stay with us, and you will hold on to your piece of paper for proof of your car. By 2:50 Pm, or anytime you desire your car during the day, an usher will be in the great hall with a specific lanyard around his neck, waiting for you to ask for your car back. Your car will then be brought back to the gym with ease and happiness, within 15 minutes of your request! At the beginning of each day, you will tell your usher whether or not you want your car brought to the gym at 2:50 p.m. or not. No tips are required, yet we will always appreciate a weekly tip!
Is this service free?
We will most likely be charging 3-5 dollars a week, depending on the number of clients we get Monthly, quarterly, and yearly passes are available upon request (better deals)
What happens if you crash my car?
Through our legal team and legal papers, here at OESparc, we ensure that if we commit any damage unto your vehicle, we take full responsibility for all payments involved. If we get pulled over by any police officers, we show them the waiver in which you gave us permission to operate your vehicle. We pay for the entirety of the ticket including any other fees.
Are the employees students?
Employees will have to apply, background checks will be completed. They will be fairly well liked students and very trustworthy in order to assure great satisfaction from our customers.
If something gets stolen from my car, what do I do?
Please inform an OESparc employee immediately, and try to let us know who you believe valeted your car. We will handle the situation within the hour, either returning your item and firing the employee, or, refunding your item completely and launching a full investigation.
How do I pay?
Payment can be completed through any of the following: Cash, check, Zelle money sending service, Venmo, Cash App, and Paypal. Payment must be done on the spot. No payments are allowed to be postponed. If you are not satisfied with your services, come and talk to us and we can talk about refunds and how we can make our valet experience better for you in the future.
Here at OESparc we want our customers to be happy and carefree during their school days at OES. We hope you apply for our new positions here at OESparc, or come and use our trusted valet service. If there are ever any questions or concerns, please come contact the CEO Noah Wali, 971-706-7225. firstname.lastname@example.org.
Apply Now: https://goo.gl/forms/ix0IrlOO2mnNLpAx2
By applying to a position here at OESparc, after reading our terms and conditions, you should understand that you waive your right to at least a minimum wage salary. Depending on the projected revenues after the first week, monthly salary numbers will begin to unfold, however, they will often change. We can assure you here at OESparc that you will never receive less than $5 dollars a month as an employee, in which is equal to two down and back car valet services. Thank you for your cooperation. Upon request and application, an employee handbook will be emailed directly to you.