By Matthew Li
This week on Business Ventures, Matthew L, 20′, touches on a pricey OES issue: the Vending Machines.
In the latest world of business, Kanye promises a billion dollar profit by the end of the year, the Dow had its worst week in 2 years, and I, supported by my colleagues, am pursuing a business venture regarding the supply and demand of vending machine snacks.
I, the CEO of Snack Enterprises® You Are What You Eat®, will be providing a subscription service that offers better snacks at a lower price. Don’t you hate being in conundrums? With Snack Enterprises, you won’t have to worry about conundrums anymore! You, a student or faculty member at OES, will be able to pick and choose a select package deal of your favorite vending machine snacks for three weeks or more. Then, a Snack Enterprise® employee will let our foreign affairs CEO, Noah Wali, know which snacks you chose, and someone from our team of trained employees will personally deliver the snacks to you whenever you want during the school day, within the days of your subscription. Our sustainable business model allows us to guarantee lower prices than the OES vending machines, and guaranteed customer satisfaction.
Just listen to one of our future customers, who will probably say “Snack Enterprises is the best thing that’s happened to me all year. It’s better than Luv is Rage 2 deluxe” -future customer of Snack Enterprises®.
What type of snacks will you offer?
We will be offering any snack currently available at OES vending machines, and we do accept requests for snacks unavailable at OES vending machines.
Will it cost less if you are friends with the founder or other employees at Snack Enterprises?
Do you accept cryptocurrencies?
No, please stop with that.
If you have any emergency needs, questions, or just need to talk, contact us at: 5035836007 and we will get back to you within 29 hours.