by Kennin M.
Hello fellow carbon based beings. You have obviously come to the Dig for intellectual conversations, and this is not one of them.
I am going to discuss the most divisive topic of our time. Which is better cats, or dogs? Now I want this to be fair. There will be five categories, and both animals will get scores from 1-5. At the end, the contestant with the highest score wins. The categories will be: Internet Opinions (because no one on the internet lies), Maintenance, Health Benefits, Obedience, and Independence.
1 (Do everything for it) 5 (Fully Autonomous)
First, for Maintenance, we will start with cats. You have to feed them, play with them, and do their litterbox, so I will rate them a 3/5. For dogs, on the other hand, have the same responsibilities, but also you have to take them on walks and scoop their poop. I rate dogs a 2/5 in this category.
The Internet Opinion
Moving right along, we have Internet Opinions. For this category, I have a different rating system. On the first page of a google search, how many websites are pro cats, and how many are pro dogs? I decided to disregard open ended answers in this section. Cats got 2 points while dogs got 4 in this section. I could also go into detail about the articles, but if you want to see them, just click the above link.
1 (Completely unruly) 5 (Always follows directions)
Obedience is next. This one should be fairly obvious, but I will elaborate a little. Cats, while some are tameable, for the most part, they are hard to train. Have you heard the expression “herding cats”? That gives you all you need to know. Cats get a 2 in this. Dogs, however get a 4 because they are quite obedient. You can train them well, and they will follow you around like a servant.
1 (Require you to do everything) 5 (Perfectly self-sustaining)
Now we move on to Independence for the next category. This one is almost a complete flip from Obedience. Dogs are very obedient, but that relies very much on us, so they can have no idea what to do when we are gone. Sometimes dogs will just sit by the door waiting for you to come home, which isn’t a bad thing. Unfortunately for them, it gives them a 2 in this section. Next up is cats. Felines are extremely independent. It sometimes feels like they own the house instead of you. They could even feed themselves just by hunting if they needed to. For this part, cats get a whopping 5/5.
1 (If you stay next them for too long you will die) 5 (Super healthy to have around)
For the final round we have Health Benefits. It all comes down to this, so I put much research into this part. We will start off with cats for this part. First of all, petting a cat has proven psychological benefits, so you will feel calmer when petting one. You can also let your cat run free outside, or stay inside if you don’t want to risk fleas. I used this paper to help me with my research, and says less cat owners than dog owners in this study had things like arthritis and heart failure. I rate cats a 4 on this. For dogs, you get walks, and playing fetch, but have the chance of getting ticks or fleas for your dog. Still, dogs are their to comfort you when you are sad, so that if you have no friends (like me) then you can still sort of have one. For this, I give dogs a 3.
Cats barely won, but dogs aren’t that bad, I guess. If you disagree with me, feel free to air your grievances to me in the halls or online.