Portland’s Snowpocalypse: A Chat Between Your Favorite Dig Writers

By Noah Wali, Max Fitzloff, and Asa Brown

A snowstorm is potentially coming our way next week and we decided to fill you in on how we’re preparing for it.

Asa B: So boys, the next few days are projected to be more than snowy- we are talking blizzard type weather.

Max F: Rod Hill, the absolute beauty from KGW, is claiming that there will be at least four inches of powder by Saturday evening with a possible EPIC snowpocalypse making its way into Portland this next week.

Noah W: LET’S GET IT FELLAS.

Max F: How do you boys prepare for the snow?

Noah W: In the days prior to our snowpocalypse, I myself have been falling victim to constantly wanting to hear the voices of Matt Zaffino and Rod Hill of KGW telling me about news of upcoming snow and “difficult conditions for the morning commute.” Not only have I spent hours at night this week watching the weather program, but I have also spent a substantial amount of time analyzing the differences between the Weather Channel’s take on the snow versus Accuweather, so on and so forth. DON’T. DO. THIS.

Asa B: Moving on from overly attractive weathermen, living in Portland, snow days are a magical, oft-looked forward to the event. As a few individuals with quite a propensity for enjoying snow days, how do you boys suggest others spend the next few days?

Noon Dubs: One important tradition we have as a trio is an annual event known as “Jump off of Evan Turner’s House” (note: do not attempt this without seeking OUR permission first). This wild, furtive affair involves jumping a 20-foot cliff off of the side of the famed NBA basketball player Evan Turner. After that, you must body slide all the way down a cliff until you must lower yourself down a vertical cliff onto an icy, abandoned road. I would hope we can include all of OES for this beautiful occurrence.

Max F: The Snow Team 6 will definitely be reassembling within the next week for more shenanigans. We will hit our typical spots such as Myrtle Street and Council Crest, but there are also plans being created to hit more technical hills such as College Street. If the snow is good. the crew is even planning on busting out the skis and snowboards for some hill bombs. May God bless us with snow.

Asa B: Despite the missed basketball games, rescheduled Semi, and lack of seeing friends, snow days have a certain aura to them, don’t they?

Noah W: They sure do, Asa! I truly cannot wait to see the sheer damage a simple an earthly element can cause on the human race!

Max F: Why yes Asa! We will make the best of a bad situation.

Asa B: Well, OES Community, get excited to enjoy what could be some serious snow in the next few days. We’ll be sure to update Snapchat with whatever we get up to.

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