The Most Relevant News According to the Dig

by Charlie and Thomas

Senioritis has, inevitably, hit harder than a 6-foot-8, 400-pound offensive linebacker after chugging a half-gallon mix of Bang and pre-workout, so Charlie and I strolled into The Dig today with nothing to write about and only 50 minutes to churn something out.

With little inspiration of our own, we turned to the rest of the Dig’s trusty writers, asking what they felt were this week’s most pertinent stories. Here are their responses:

Alex: “Young Thug is dropping soon.”

Trevor: “The Mueller report.”

Noah W: “The picture of the black hole.”

Alex: “Kodak Black was arrested for illegally having 9 guns in his possession.”

Ellie: “All the different Democratic candidates.”

Alex: “Kodak Black was arrested for illegally having weed in his possession.”

Kennin: “I am not the person to be asking about that.”

Alex: “Kodak Black made disparaging comments about Nipsey Hussle’s wife shortly after his death.”

Luke M: “Steph Curry is getting contacts.”

Alex: “No dude, Kodak really said that look it up.”

Matthew Li: “You can get 12 million free coins if you download Slot Machines right now.”

Alex: “Kodak just posted bail!”

Andre S: “Samsungs folding phones are broke.”

Viraj S: “The Mueller Report.”

Kara: “The Woah.”

Alex: “10% of Australia’s population consumes over half the alcohol supply.”

 

From us to you, we are so sorry. We’ll do better next time.

Thanks for reading!

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