American Teens Addicted to Screens, and The Solution to this Mental Pollution: Hex Bugs

Matthew Li

We’ve all seen teenagers before. Whether it be on the way to school, in TV shows like Mean Girls, or at a climate strike. But the teenagers you see in America today are not the same as the teenagers born in 1963. They don’t walk around playing with Stretch Armstrongs and Great American Express Toy Train Sets anymore. Instead, they watch music videos and play games like Tiny Wings, or Instagram. If you’re a parent, there’s a nearly 100% chance your child is addicted to Tiny Wings or Instagram. 

You may not know it, but the symptoms are obvious. They won’t make eye contact with you, they bump into walls, and they spend hours on their phone completely ignoring their Great American Express Toy Train Sets. At this point, you may be feeling somewhat hopeless, asking yourself “How can I vow to disallow my child’s subscription to their addiction and get them to listen?” After minutes of research and experimentation, I have found the solution: Hex Bugs.

What is a Hex Bug? A Hex Bug is a “Micro Robotic Creature” that is built to endlessly entertain teenagers. Coming in various sizes and shapes, these autonomous “bugs” crawl around tracks built by the game players. I am predicting that research will show that Hex Bugs are far superior to Tiny Wings and Instagram in the minds of teenagers, while also being a much healthier, non-digital experience. Buy your Hex Bugs today at or meet me in my car at 4 PM on Saturdays.