Is week 14 too early for Super Bowl talk? Probably, but it’s never too early to make my little brother judge people based off their opinions.
In a miraculous turn of events – I’m talking Dua Lipa, 180 type shift – I’ve outgrown my total disregard for the NFL. To be fair, I was left at youth football practices (oftentimes in the rain), dragged out to Saturday jamborees (it was always unnecessarily hot), and was left finding rides home from homecoming and state championship soccer games thanks to the sport. Throw a few dozen Friday Night Light games on top, and you could understand some initial reluctance to handing my Sundays over to football as well.
It might have been the scarcity of events going on in my own life, or complete lack of my brothers’ football to watch, but I seem to have become borderline obsessed this season. I even have my own RedZone chair!
For this issue I collected a variety of Super Bowl predictions (/pipe dreams), and had my 13-year-old brother George judge them. The rating system he decided on was a 5 star scale coupled with scathing commentary. Consider this your warning.
Charles W. ‘21: Giants vs. Chiefs. Giants win 24-21. Daniel Jones MVP.
George’s comments: AFC pick was fine, his NFC was absolutely completely off, I’m gonna go with 1.5 stars.
Will Perry ‘21: Chiefs vs. Saints. Steelers out before AFC Championship game. The only other NFC contenders are the Bucs, Rams, and Packers, but they’re all too flawed.
George’s comments: 4.5 stars, AFC pick is right. NFC pick is up for grabs, but the Saints have the best record so far.
Tyler E. ‘22: Steelers vs. Saints. Saints win handily, settling me and Cameron’s debate.
G: I don’t like this prediction. Chiefs would beat the Steelers, Saints are iffy which is why the last one got 4.5 stars, so 3.5 stars.
Jonathan S. ’22: NY Giants win. Steelers lose their first playoff game to Cameron’s dismay. If the Seahawks play the Giants in the first round Patrick Graham (Giants’ D coordinator) shuts down Russell Wilson again. James Bradburry aka lockdown corner shuts down Dk Metcalf and shuts up the hype.
George, who had to walk to a neighbors’ to watch Giants-Seahawks: Is this a joke? Did Charles write this one too?
Me: No this is a different Giants fan.
G: Fine. 0 stars for too much bias. Daniel Jones isn’t better than Eli Manning and Eli Manning wasn’t even good.
Charles: Eli Manning is better than Russell Wilson.
Kole P. ‘22: Didn’t the Lakers already win the Super Bowl?
G: 5 stars. That’s a good point of view… if you’re a soccer player.
Cameron G. ‘22: Seahawks, Saints, and Steelers all go out before the divisional championships, driving Henry, Tyler, and me all insane. Chiefs take on the Rams in the Super Bowl and Mahomes dominates as usual winning Super Bowl MVP and league MVP for the second time.
G: I can definitely see the AFC one, I can see the NFC one, but the Rams are inconsistent. 4.5 stars.
Patrick R. ‘22: Dolphins beat the Washington Football team in the Super Bowl. Dolphins knock the Chiefs out of the playoffs. Xavien Howard Super Bowl MVP. Jason Sanders wins Super Bowl with 61 yard field goal as time expires.
G: 0.5 stars. The Dolphins don’t look like the team they were in the middle of the season, and the Football team is not going to win their division. And Xavien Howard is overrated
Me: Chiefs vs. Giants. Danny Dimes plays out of his mind, but Mahomes out-duels him in a shootout that goes down as the best in history… a small ask. Mahomes SB MVP.
G: 1 star. The writer and prediction are stupid and incomptent and inept.
George W. ‘26: Packers beat the Chiefs 31-28. Aaron Rodgers superbowl MVP and league MVP. Seahawks lose in the divisional to the Packers. ☹
My comments: 5 stars for the matchup. 0 stars for the outcome and awards. Mahomie for the win every time.
George also asked me to include a note saying anyone who picked their favorite team is incompetent, and that he is for the Seahawks.
If you’re reading this after February 7th, 2021, be sure to congratulate the Chiefs on back-to-back Super Bowl wins.
Thanks for reading my 22nd article. #favoritenumber
Image: Fox News.